Finks experiments
Sitemap ' Fink's Experiments ' * See also Columbia_Era_Machines --- --- --- --- --- *** THE FOLLOWING IS NOT IN THE GAME *** Since the INFINITE BS Game is Wave Of The Hand Fantasy, WE might as well have gotten so much more imaginative stuff, no ? Infinite BS would have been a far better game with a Luddite-rebellion type plot (rejection of technology) instead of the Faux-Religion, Faux-Physics, Faux-History, Faux-Society, Faux-America stupidity it degenerated into. ---- Finkovision.jpg|Fink was trying 'To Get A-head' Finkies.jpg Darlingtonstockton.jpg ElizabethGotAHead.jpg|Elizabeth didnt need to be alive to generate the Quantumz stuff RejectedHeavyHitter.jpg Autoclopter.jpg ColumbiaPneumo.jpg Divingthing.jpg FinksTearControlDevice.jpg FinkBozz.jpg 1905tracked.jpg SplicersInColumbia.jpg ColumbiaTransit.jpg Quantumzgears.jpg Firstgaspoweredlawnmower1918.jpg Comstocks_skull.jpg Weirdssss.jpg HeadsOrTails.jpg YesTriedThisWW1.jpg Finkschalkboard2.jpg FinkattemptingDogBird.jpg FinksSub.jpg PleaseTakeOutTheTrash.jpg Fink8889.jpg Finkys.jpg Balloono.jpg Passengervehicleconcept.jpg Songbirdy.jpg Pyramidmysterysolved.jpg Hmmmmm7.jpg FinkSetOffForNorthAtlantic.jpg FinksMotorcycularLandBattleship.jpg ComstocksFolly.jpg Gearz.jpg Thisbebessemerconverter.jpg RailroadToRapture.jpg ColumbiaFairRide.jpg Magicmachine.jpg Coffeemachine.jpg TooScaryIron.jpg ADAMExperiments.jpg UrineRecyc.jpg FinksSteamDalek.jpg ComstockCannon.jpg HandyDog.jpg SoylentGreenIsMadeOutOfCattle.jpg|Cannibal Columbia would have been more fun Oppressionpump.jpg Cattlebloodsiphon.jpg|So do you HARVEST or SAVE ? SoylentFink.jpg Columbiatechnology.jpg Honklugger.jpg FinksPortableCattleShredder.jpg FinktonzScoobieWagon.jpg ComstocksScams.jpg ControlForFinksSoylentGreenProcess.jpg RPDimproved.jpg IncredibleGeniusNOT.jpg Metallizzie.jpg Lighthouse-yeah-right.jpg|At least this thing is plausible Comstocks-OTHER-Projects.jpg|Another of Comstock's scams Boisilenceconcept.jpg CatJazz.jpg|Finks Brother's Idea Fimklbinkl.jpg Allcolumbiawasmissing.jpg Finksseaslugexpedition.jpg Justaddballoon.jpg Finkzmessengerservice.jpg DontEvenAsk.jpg Pizzatable.jpg|Comstock was an Inventor too FinksFAiledWhatzit.jpg|Made Toothpaste for Columbia ??? FinksIllFatedExpedition.jpg|SeaSlug hunting required some sneaking around the seas... Yesagain.jpg|The Martian Tripod thing didn't quite work out EnchantedImSure.jpg|Seriously 'Fantasyland' in a complete fantasy land?? FinksExpressoHooka.jpg|Fink eventually gave up making Espresso machines after too many his product Testers died. Cylon-o-tron.jpg File:SumtinToExecuteAVoxIn.jpg|Fink KNEW this device was his answer to disobedient 'Cattle' - Note the 'face grinding' feature. Verticalboiler.jpg|Fink learned that properly administered MANDATORY "Steam Enemas" greatly decreased sick days for his workers Finksautomatictoiletroll.jpg|A Revolutionary Time Saving Device FinksAutomaticChicken2.jpg|But is it a precursor or successor to Songbird ?? Finkssteamplane.jpg|Fink would need something to try to get those Sea Slugs, no ? Finkwouldmakethis.jpg|Still cant go up/down all those Stairs (Failz) DrLambsStimulator.jpg|Lamb or Fink could have cooked up something like this Rectal Device to 'inspire' their Minions into greater 'compliance' Athing2.jpg|Nah, this looks too logical/competant for something the game would have Fink make ... Finks_IPod.jpg|Its either an IPod or his ill-fated Bathysphere (which made a one-way trip to 6000 feet) Mcdorval.jpg|Finks CastratoMatic - Untermenschen Passifier Finksstrangedevice.jpg|Fink's Windmill Of Death R34-WireClustercircuit.jpg|R34-WireCluster - SongBird required many of these FinkTheGeniusYeahRight.jpg|You'd think Fink could look into the future to do better than those in-game things in Columbia. FinksLynchomatic.jpg|Finks Lynch-o-matic Prototype SteamPunk_IPod.jpg|Finks Race-O-Meter with which he could calculate how much work he could get out of a worker before they died. Edisons.jpg|Edison was a real genius. Fink was a plagiarist/fraud/exploiter Somethingnasty.jpg|Don't know what this is, but Fink use it to persuade his workers into a 15% production efficiency increase. ReplaceTheCattle.jpg|Humans were just too much bother - machines WOULD be superior. SO Fink had "plans" to eliminate the need for 'the lesser orders' in Columbia ... Strangedevice2.jpg|Just the mention of this device made Finks workers break out in a cold sweat... Strangeiron.jpg|Why couldn't Fink have produced TVs for Columbia ? He seems to have created everything else that was half a century early, alongside 20 year old throwbacks, and bizarre Steampunk rejects... Finkswaregg2.jpg|Fink had lots of designs for such things Finksfollies.jpg|Finks first version of Songbird GianourmousBlood.jpg|Device from an Alternate Vampire Columbia which Fink though might be useful for his Sea Slugs FinksFerrisWheel.jpg FirstLadysRollingCoffin.jpg|Comstock realized the popularity of the 'late' First Lady and got Fink to create a conveyance, unfortunately after a week it began to smell really bad. Boyzsilencini2.jpg|Started as a spying device Fink used to try to figure out when Comstock was going to have him killed. FinksObcession.jpg|Measuring 'Expenses-In versus Profits-Out' (another way of regulating his cattle/workers). Fink trying his own way to recycle ADAM??? At-at-at.jpg|Another one of Fink's 'Theme' projects FinkieReadWelles.jpg|Terror Was Good For Business (for Jeremiah Fink) FinksLuvsSoylentGreen.jpg|Finks Soylent Green Project got well past the 'experimental' stage ... Hunley.jpg|Fink stole the blueprints for this, but didn't look at the subsequent newspaper clippings. FinksCattleBloodSausageMaker.jpg|Deliciously Good Sausages !! --- --- --- . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Genetic Whatzit Making Device. Fink's minions saw this in Suchong's Lab through a (convenient) Tear, so wrote notes, took pictures, read blueprints and Chalkboards (translated the Korean ?), used long sticks to grab samples and open drawers to take documents, and then Fink built his own. Yeah... right. Its not that hard to write a better story for this stuff. --- --- --- The ghost of Lady Comstock was getting 'out of hand' so Comstock eventually got desperate. WHO YOU GONNA CALL ???? LINCOLNBUSTERZ !!!! . . . . . . . . --- --- --- Fink's Crapulator - Now all it needs is the Right Picture ... ''' : "Now With More Quantumz !!" And I think I know where Fink gets his Ammonium Nitrates from ... (Fink Piss-u-la-tor "Now On Every Corner" - Come in and make a deposit, Help Defend Columbia's Safety, You will feel good about yourself !!!) '''Soon you can have it built into your pants !!! Wonders Of The Modern Age !!! (Have that in a booth at that 'Fair' ...) New Gearz ... There was a general dearth of Public Lavoratories in Columbia, and 'doing it over the side' probably is frowned on (and unwise when it is windy). ---- ---- The Unfortunate REAL ones from that INFINITE BS game : Note - these are not all are Finks work, but the same Weirdness applies StupidIsntTheWordForThis.jpg Contrived.jpg VOX-O-Phone.jpg Amusing_lala.jpg Clonedoffarealcar.jpg MechanicalHorsepoopy.jpg YesColumbiaRanOnWitchcraft2.jpg Moronic_regurgitation.jpg InsaneOrStupid.jpg NoUnderstanding.jpg Modularassets.jpg Whothinksup.jpg ---- An earlier proposal for Columbia from a designer who was afraid of heights. Waste not, want not. With his Automatons replacing all the 'Cattle' in Columbia, it was a shame to let them go to waste. Therefore he created another new successful product line (and a much more horrific storyline for Infinite BS). AND Another version of Fink's Soylent GreenFuturistic dystopian movie(1973) about overpopulated earth where cannibalism is resorted to in desperation. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070723/ Machine (Perfect for an advertising ditty , no?) Fink (that ultimate genius) had SO many other Vigors planned (you know Fink need just snap his fingers to create them - that effectively was what HAD to happen in Infinite BS's unrealistic magical timeline). * The one named "I Shit Gold" was to be reserved for his own personal use. Those "Vigor" bottles should have looked like this - not quite so impressive (but then neither will pieces of glass snap off in your pocket and shred your flesh.) Dispensing such from a Vending Machine was another unfortunate disregard for credibility. (which wouldn't have been needed if they hadn't slavishly copied the 'Upgrade' game element from the earlier games). A 1894 Coca Cola Bottle -- "The Pause that Refreshes" ... The cocaine was removed from Coca-Cola in 1903. Some nice little Pick-Me-Ups there in that kit. So what exactly did Lizzie inject into Booker ??? In the old days, you could count on Tobacco, Coffee and Hard Liquor substance use for people to NOT need to produce a bunch of absurd rubbish (Infinite BS Vigor bottles). THIS picture is what real bottles looked like. When Comstock judged someone didn't "Have Their Head On Straight", he had a way to fix that ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . After Comstock (in Infinite BS) aged, the Luteces talked him into doing all kinds of weird things and wearing absurd mechanisms to try reverse the process. Making him look idiotic gave them much hidden glee. Even before they were murdered (and became 'gods', immortal, and got bored), they were having lots of fun doing such twisted things -- and perhaps, it WAS the main reason Comstock eventually had them murdered. --- --- --- Scam Artists will be Scam Artists (and 'Dupable Fools' will be Dupable Fools). This project was likely at the point where Comstock made the acquaintance of Fink, who supplied the convict labor used to build the foundation for this monstrosity - Fink overcharging for services as he always did. Comstock did not mind so much as he was pocketing huge sums himself from the 'Donations' from the fools who believed in his Prophesy Scam. The project of course was never finished as Comstock moved on to an even bigger scam - "Columbia" (taking Fink with him). --- --- --- . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fink's amazing mental abilities (Remember he became not just some mere Theoretical Quantum Physicist, but a Quantum Engineer, and also a super Bio-chemical and Genetics manipulating Genius !!!!) could be based on a Metaphysical distillation of all of his "cattle" worker's Lost Dreams and Aspirations and other such Life Essences he robbed from them. YES IT IS HERE SHOWN that he really is a kind of Vampire - Sucking the Life Blood out of the unfortunates who worked for him. He consumed their Sweet Sweet Essences - growing in power each day. First Columbia, THEN The World !!! --- --- --- A more plausible mechanism for 'floating' Columbia - rather than those bad fantasy Pseudo-Physics -- which even the Fantasy pulp mags gave up in the 50s. There coulda been LESS development wasted on the Faux-Stupidity, and MORE effort on better/decent combat mechanics --- THAT would have been GOOD. --- --- --- Fink wanted to have Flying Skulls patrol Columbia, but it didn't work out (the new Aether transmission control flopped). BUT they were still useful for the imposing looking mechanical 'heads' (with helmet) on the Security Turrets (And so he could still charge the City the bundle of money wasted on his project). . . . . . . . . Actually more dirigible goodness. But Fink had a different vision of its uses. (How else did he continuously fly 'convicts' to Columbia to replace the ones that constantly died ???) --- --- --- Finks Medical Products : A Dose of Saltz Will Fix You ... ''' : Laxative effect churns you insides and allows more of the hallucinogen to enter your system Keeps the crazy delusions rolling ... Another Crazy Ride beginz. "The Shantytown Twostep" Euphemism for 'the screaming shits'/severe diahrhea Fink : "These Cultists might be crazy, but at least they're regular." ... "Has great effect on lethargic workers" --- --- --- . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '''RetroFuturism was hard for the gamedesigners when they appear to only have the typical (recent) high school understanding of the time period. So many things in the game looked like bad kindergarten props because they were wrong. The funny thing is that it would have been easier to actually find real things in the decades following the 1893 Exposition and copy them to give a more real feel. After all isn't that allegedly what Fink was supposed to be doing ? (Or better would be Columbia stealing those things, and then the game 'artists' wouldn't even NEED to poorly mutate them into those SteamPunk rejects). It took a Ford Auto Factory to make Model Ts. The auto manufacturing sources extended much-much further. THAT would NOT possibly fit in Columbia, yet the game designers show dozens and dozens of like manufactured things/iems/products -- making believe it was ALL made in that strange Fink fantasy factory. Sorry Levine, size (giant props) does NOT equal terrain quality. AND Illogical, disproportionate, unrealistic size is worse. --- --- --- . . . . . . . . . Fink was frightened by many thing he saw in Tears. Unfortunately the whole Prophet scam done by Comstock was fraught with problems when the 'Tears' pointed at far different alternate realities. (( '' Writers and their managers can be such simpletons when creating plots for a game. '' )) --- --- --- . . . . . . . Pedicabs might have made sense in Columbia, if not for all the Stairs and Discoherrent/disconnected transport methods across the disjoint City. ' "It was like their transport system was designed by a game writer - you know those who are ignorant of the way real things work ..." - Fred Jones ' And look - NO quantumz involved, which 'at any second' might suck you into an alternate universe where a KzintiA Larry Niven Sci-Fi race of huge fierce bipedal tiger-like sentient cat aliens who fought humans repeatedly. might kill and eat you !!!! Unfortunately Comstock had to ban these things because so many accidentally rode off the side of the City and having the resultant loss of 'decent white folk'. NOTE - THIS THING APPEARS TO HAVE AN INTERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINE - ITS MOTORIZED --- --- --- . . . . . . . . . . . The Juggernaut : ''' Armored SkyLine Train. "The Vox Populi?? Oh they are all dead. They were all obliterated." Seriously if your going to have a faux Police State, then at least do it right. '''Ryan Would Have An Equivalent Built : * The Armored Trolley, converted (by New Rapture) for patrols along "Splicer Alley" a 'street' section near the city 'Edge' that was recently opened up, but still has frequent Splicer incursions (control points are still being established and the many 'holes' out to the "Wild" have not yet been closed up/sealed). * Armed with turrets, spotlights, radio-links, a squadron of security flybots and a battering ram plow (in-case of 'obstructions' on the track). * It can also be deployed at other city locations, if needed to reinforce security operations. * If Columbia wont have one, then New Rapture will. At least the rails in Rapture wont bend under the weight. * Eventually when more of the Atlantic Express is working there will probably be a AE rain 'Warwagon' that will fullfil much the same function. --- --- --- Pigeon Guided Missile ( a Real World Idea) : Was tried as a technology as an alternative to electronics/computers which were primitive in those days (late 40s). Pigeon trained to peck at a screen (an optical window view) to steer the missile towards a target (terminal guidance). One of those 'ideas' that Fink thought of but it didn't quite work out (maybe then sea turtle brain interfaces ???) Remember something doing real stuff isn't the same as a computer game where you simply 'fake it' (things don't HAVE to actually work, beyond the puppet show). --- --- --- --- --- . .